i am practically getting tired of life now. i hate it. i want to leave. i hate highschool. im sick of it. sick of the people around me. with all their drama and shit. i dont do my homeworks. i dont have time. work and school tires the hell outta me. i dont know what has gotten into me. all of a sudden im starting not to like my friends anymore. hah.

but. im dying for the summer. can we just skip May? i want it to be june already for chrissake. goiin back home.. finally gosh darn it. i cannot wait. i. just. can. not. wait. and then all will be good. i will be in college, which means new school, new group. and then the car. weehee. i can go to places now without restrictions.

Grabe na, nalintekan na, masyado na akong naiinspire sa Atenistang ito ah. Feeling ko tuloy pag na frustrate ako, kaya ko ng bumangon ulit. Bakit ba lahat ng nakikilalang kong LaSallista galit sa school namin, kaya tuloy ako nawawalan ng confidence, e dati rati pag tinatanong ako kung san ako nagaaral, proud na proud ako, DLSU, bakit may problema? Aba ngayon, makasama mo naman ba ang mga LaSallista sa 3 buwan, mawawalan ka nga ng confidence kasi puro reklamo, puro, "kung nasa UP at Ateneo lang ako.. blah blah." tangina niyo, di niyo nga mapasa-pasa ang course niyo sa Lasalle eh, reklamo pa kayo ng reklamo pati tuloy ako na disappoint. Pero seryoso, di ayos mga tao sa LaSalle, parang mga walang pangarap sa buhay, ayaw ko nun. Nung first day, nakakapaglakad ako magisa, nung last day na, kelangan parating may kasama at parating dapat mejo cool, tangina yan, e gusto ko pa naman yung lugar na walang pakielamanan, yung kahit umihi ka sa daan, okay lang. At ang malupet pa, pinagtritripan pa yung mga nerd, excuse me, isa ako sa mga nangtritrip no. haha. For a change. Mas minahal ko pa ang LaSalle bilang eskwelahan kung walang estudyante, ang jologs eh, mag english ka lang ng konti, conyotic ka na agad. E maarte pa naman ako sa ganun, gusto ko english lahat. Feeling eh. Tinanong nga nila ako bakit english ako ng english nung first day, e tangina niyo pala, malay ko ba na di pala kayo nag eenglish, naturang mga taga-woodrose. Parang big deal ba yun? Pero ayos kasi lahat ng nakausap ko sa school sinabi ata kung baliw ako, nice one freaks.

Putaragis, I made an entry before about this guy and my self-confidence and ampootahh, yesterday was a fucker, he was the one stuttering and I was the one talking shitly and everyone was just listening. Wow, I regained my self-confidence, he was the one asking me about the answers now, haha. Let's know who's the more clever now. Jk.

Course cards will be sent on the 30th, I couldn't wait. Huhuhu.

Anlupet ng online exam sa PE, high-tech talaga ng LaSalle, ang putanginang IVLE, di ako nakaexam!! 

Tanginang IVLE, putangina mo!! 

 

I PASSED BOTANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I PASSED ALL MY COURSES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck meeeennnnn.

Off to drink in a while. Need alcohol to join me. Coolness.

I took my finals in Algebra and I did my best. If I get a 3 in the course card, I do deserve it, I've worked hard for it.

My last day in DLSU is geeky, I am here already but I'll be out in a while though, just wanna rest first. I was the the last one to finish, swear, I guess I just wanted to make my last test a v. good one. DLSU Algebra is v. good and I had a v. good prof and she has the nicest arse ever. lol. I've learned a lot in College Algebra, it's fun though, I'd be able to bring it in the States. It's good cos I liked my subjects, very interesting ones like Anthropology, Critical Thinking and the dreaded Botany. Psychology is still my choice forever, I love it so much. If College here were a game, I played it well and I had hell fun.

Three months of school in this university have been fun. More when I get to where I really want.

I can now concentrate on reviewing but will sit in everyday, swear. I am so happy again.

 

 

It's 12.30am, it's my last day of school today. Huhuhu. Jk, I should be happy.

Who says I'm leaving DLSU? I am not. I'd still go to school and go with my friends till next sem but just sit in. We have Algebra Finals tomorrow and here I am again, v. conceited and not studying. Anyway, I don't know what to do after, shall I have a party? That'd be coolness, getting drunk again is a v. nice option, killing your brain cells after using it is so much fun. Why is drinking so pleasurable huh?

I am a drug-dependent person now, I am so anxious cos I finished my tablets already and they're gone. Cool.
I should be sleeping now cos later will be a v. long day for me.

The thing why I think he pisses me off is because I feel inferior to him and I don’t want that. He’s eating up my ego and I never wanted that. I look at him differently, a very snobbish look just to make him stoop down, I stutter when he’s around and I lose my confidence in his presence. I know I’d meet more people like him and I need to get used to it. I know he doesn’t mean to be that way but I feel so thick, really. Even when his answers are wrong, it seems all perfect. He studies at CSB and I study at DLSU but I feel like a Benildean.

Okay, he is really smart, and there’s nothing I can do. I’ve never talked to anybody like him, he makes me feel so small. I was on my way to Starbucks, then he was outside, he waved at me, I couldn’t even ask him if somebody was coming to fetch him or what. Damn, this other guy and I were talking about something about our schools and stuff, he suddenly joined us and started talking, I was like SPEECHLESS!! I never felt this way before. He was talking about heavy things, I should learn talking with sense and with full-confidence, I am only confident when I know I am smarter than the person I am talking to but shiet, I get lost when HE talks to me.

Punyeta, he is so smart that you wanna kick his arse and fucking balls to death.

Good bye Taft, Good bye my good school, I still think you’re a v. good university, just never liked the people and the environment. Still proud to be La Sallista.

I have a goal, I need to be close to him, we need to be closer!!

What I want to do now is to go to a party and talk to confident people with the greatest minds. I am turning 18 and stupid talks aren’t appropriate anymore.

edit: The conversation shifted from this school in Singapore to Wharton University to whatever in Canada to whatever in Egypt to whatever in whatever. Okay, I should've said this university in Malaysia that is an affiliate of Wharton University and it is now the leading business school in Asia but never had the confidence. Bullshit, just bog off.

I need to go to the hospital. My stomach is aching, but I don't know what to do. I'll go to the emergency room alone.

Shiet, if I die and don't wake up tomorrow, at least I wrote this.

 

Anyway, before it happens, I'd like to put here that I studied for the test tomorrow and I got my course card today for Crithin and I passed and got a 3.5.

Punyeta.

 

 

Just got the results of my DT, and I got a school, San Francisco State University. Lol.

Okay, I need 70 points for Math and 40 points for Verbal to get into the University I like. I need to make do during the actual test which is so soon.

Okay, just got back from the SAT live class and I am hell annoyed.

DON'T BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ARSE, FUCK!

But he's quite interesting though, he said he also likes Psychology but there's none at CSB. Lol.

I think I know what I really like now. I am so certain.

I won't take BS Psych, I'd take AB Psych, instead. I'm no good at Sciences, I don't give a damn shit about the diameter of cells and its cell walls. The subject units are quite different and I'm liking AB more now. At least I know.

Charmi: Sir, magpapagawa po ako ng recommendation sa inyo.

Sir: Sige, ikaw nalang gumawa.

Charmi: Sir, recommendation po for transfer.

Sir: OO nga.

Charmi: Pano po yun?

Sir:  Ikaw gumawa, pipirmahan ko nalang para kahit ano pwede mo isulat.

Charmi: Yehess!! (Laughs)

Okay. I'm making it. I'd start it with..

Charmi is the most intelligent student in my class, you should accept her in your university.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

THIS IS EUPHORIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can be a real conceited. Score from last time’s test was sent and guess what?

TRUST YOUR RATIONALITY.

She made us solve our final grade, if you get a negative, then you don’t have to take the last test cos you’re automatically you know that.

I GOT -2.67. FUCKERSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, does it matter if you get a 3.0 for Algebra and 0.0 for others? Lol.

I swear would keep all my test booklets, these are proofs of my fuckingness. How would you explain the feeling when upperclass men asked you about how you got the answer and all you had to say was, "Well, that’s how I got it"?

Today is Friday, I’m going to buy shawarma and dirty, nasty movies somewhere cos my computer’s full of virus now. Euphoria turns into perversion. Lol.

 

I think I’m feeling good every after Algebra test. I know I am so conceited, I always tell myself I’d get a 100 % for every test. I was the second one to submit the paper, my blockmates are probably still taking it and now, I’m here telling myself that I’d probably get 3. I don’t need any medicine for this, this is what you call ‘belief in one’s self’. It’s cool then.

Anyway, too much for grandiose delusion now, at least I am so happy.

We’ve been talking for a week now and I’m learning a lot of things from this person.

I’m liking Lostprophets and Stereophonics more and more each day.

Welshs are so good. Nothing too serious, just interested.

frrahmindfck: u online for a long time now?

neil_wales : about an hour or so i think

frrahmindfck: did you miss me then?

neil_wales : im tired, been working out today

neil_wales : i was thinking about u earlier

What’s more cool is that I’m going back to review!!

Something to ponder about:


Would you rather be

physically dead but spiritually alive?

or

Physically alive but spiritually dead?




Thinks.

What do you think, Charmie? Haha. :O

guess what?

I came across my oldest blog. blogdrive pa toh, exage super funny ng mga pinaglalagay ko dun. cant believe it. oh, i decided to post this thing. even if ive read it like 5 times or so, i still laugh my heart out. something to make your day. :)



Saturday, March 27, 2004
nkakatawa tlga!!! i got this from someone, khet luma na. deicded to post it pra sa mga nde pa nkakabasa.
> > > > Kanino bang tatay ito? he he he.
> > > >
> > > > Dear Son,
> > > >
> > > > Medyo mabagal akong magsulat ngayon dahil alam ko na
> > > > mabagal kang
> > > > magbasa.
> > > > Nandito na kami sa probinsya para tirahan ang bagong
> > > > bili na bahay pero
> > > > hindi ko maibibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala
> > > > ng dating nakatira
> > > > ang number para daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng
> > > > address.
> > > > Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila.
> > > > Dalawang beses lang
> > > > umulan sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at
> > > > apat na araw naman
> > > > nung pangalawa.
> > > > Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad na
> > > > nabili kong shampoo
> > > > dahil ayaw bumula. Nakasulat kasi sa labas ay FOR
> > > > DRY HAIR kaya hindi
> > > > ko binabasa ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay
> > > > ibabalik ko sa
> > > > tindahan at magrereklamo ako.
> > > > Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa
> > > > bahay dahil ayaw
> > > > bumukas ang padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay YALE, aba eh
> > > > namalat na ako sa
> > > > kakasigaw ay hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo
> > > > din ako dun sa
> > > > nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila ay hindi ko alam na
> > > > SIGAW ang tagalog ng
> > > > YALE, wise yata ito!
> > > > Mayroon nga pala akong nabili dito na magandang
> > > > Jacket at tiyak na
> > > > magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo sa DHL,
> > > > medyo mahal daw dahil
> > > > mabigat ang mga butones kaya ang ginawa ko ay
> > > > tinanggal ko na lang ang
> > > > mga butones at inilagay ko sa mga bulsa. Ikabit mo
> > > > na lang pagdating
> > > > diyan.
> > > > Nagpadala na din ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta
> > > > ng bagyo, hindi ko
> > > > na pinirmahan dahil gusto kong maging anonymous
> > > > donor.
> > > > Ang kapatid mo nga palang si Jude ay may trabaho na
> > > > dito, mayroon
> > > > siyang 500 na tao na under sa kanya. Nag-gugupit
> > > > siya ngayon ng damo sa
> > > > Memorial Park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang
> > > > sahod.
> > > > Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang
> > > > ng madalas.
> > > > Love, Papa
> > > > P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay
> > > > naisara ko na ang
> > > > envelope. Next time na lang ha?

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances,if there's any reaction, both are transformed."
-C.S. Jung

Hey chong

It's 10 mins before my class starts and I'm making this entry just for you. I'm so happy about the Europe thing and I'd finally see IAN WATKINS live! I swear would sweat man. I was researching yesterday about his whereabouts, if I could see him walking in Wales then great. But it isn't gonna be as fun as it is to watch Ian Watkins with you, so I'd really try my best to go to you again and watch their tour in your place. Start listening man, you'll get addicted. It's fun that we both like the same genre. Okay, I have to leave for my algebra class. Punyeta, I told you already that this is gonna be my last post. I swear won't make one again. I miss you forever.

Love,

Chong.

Hey Chong,

I'm writing here for a change. It's exactly 303AM here and I just remembered what happened to you. I know you were really traumatized because I haven't seen you online and you weren't responding properly. It's part of the experience chong, at least now you know to yourself that you're smart enough to handle situations like that. I hope you recovered already and just learn from it, it's your way to becoming a lawyer. I'm listening to The Used that's why I couldn't sleep thinking about our times, wow, stupidity arises. Anyway, sorry for what I've been acting lately, I promise to be more mature like YOU. I swear won't make moves again. Just think of how great you acted and you'll be happy. Trust me, I'm trying to do it now, that's why I'm quite happy again. Just do what you used to do like watch serendipity and the notebook. -haha. Be happy. Life is fair. Enjoy summer. I'll never find someone like you. I miss you forever.

Love,

Chong.